Well, I popped a couple breath mints, I trimmed my pubes
Jill, I'm ready for my date with you
We'll get a Lyft to a restaurant with multiple stars
And when we're done we'll stick around for drinks at the bar
We'll Uber to my place where we can Netflix and chill
But now it's only 2 pm I've got
Four hours to Jill

I'm jumping in the shower, need to scrub my pits
Grab a bottle of cologne, give myself a spritz
I'm thinking there's a chance that we might get real close
It's just my second second date, so I don't really know
Some time I'll have to ask her if she's on the pill
But now it's only 4 pm I've got
Two hours to Jill

What am I gonna do with all this time to Jill?
Twiddle my thumbs, hone my sweet talk skills
Maybe she'd appreciate a heartfelt note
But I asked my big sister, she said no no no
Now if I'm being honest I am terrified
'Cause I'm hoping one day Jill will want to be my bride
I don't look that good and I don't have much dough
Instead of hi Jill might be saying whoa whoa whoa

I'm wetting down my razor, gonna shave my 'stache
This new look is really gonna make a splash
My collar is starched and my pants are pressed
Oh my God, Jill's gonna be so damn impressed
Can I afford a diamond ring and still pay my bills?
Now it's only 5 pm still got
One hour to Jill

Twenty three minutes to Jill, oh God
The problem is when I get excited
I get an ocean of notions
Emotion explosion
And all of this matters
And all of this matters
And all of this matters
And all of this matters to me

I see her, she got here first
I'm walking her way my heart is gonna burst
Now I need to think of something cool to say

Hey, Jill. What's up?