I was born on a Monday Maybe that explains Why I wake up anticipating A whole week's worth of pain I was born on a Monday You were born on a Thursday Maybe that explains Why you're a bit more optimistic You roll your eyes at my complaints I need sugar and caffeine I've got ruts in my routine I need more than what I've seen She was born on a weekend Maybe that explains Why everything is a party With strawberries and champagne I was born on a Monday Keeping up my straightest face Prepped for losing just in case Shoot my prospects into space I was born on a Monday

They charge at you with their battle axes They are you upset you raised their dragon taxes Battle axes And dragon taxes To light a fire, need to strike a match Dragons breathe it from the moment they hatch They're unrestrained, they're burning up the town Someone's got pay for damages, it won't be the crown They're charging, swinging 'round their battle axes You raised their ire with your dragon taxes Battle axes And dragon taxes They're charging, swinging 'round their battle axes You raised their ire with their dragon taxes Battle axes And dragon taxes Shields and swords and iron maces Catapults in several places We defend our peerless castle From all these revolting vassals What do they know about the public good? There's safer ways to light their firewood They ought to check their insurance rates Instead they try to push through triple fortified gates The sun's reflecting off their battles axes They're straight irate about their dragon axes Battle axes And dragon taxes

I'm awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Hey baby, oh now Oh baby, hey now I only see her in her spacesuit Her silver satin and her moon boots And she can float right o'er my sidewalk While I'm still stuck inside my air lock I'm awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Hey baby, oh now Oh baby, hey now I'm never too far from her launch pad I'm training hard to be her comrade She makes a right turn on to my road And now my heart's part of her payload I'm awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Hey baby, oh now Oh baby, hey now Give me an ETA Prepare the docking bay Orbiting up above I've got a weightless love She's coming oh so near Sharing my atmosphere She's there and I feel all right Gone at the speed of light She makes a right turn on to my road And now my heart's part of her payload And she can float right o'er my sidewalk While I'm still stuck inside my air lock I'm awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Awaiting the arrival of the Starship Monica Hey baby, oh now Oh baby, hey now Hey baby, oh now Oh baby, hey now

Well, I popped a couple breath mints, I trimmed my pubes Jill, I'm ready for my date with you We'll get a Lyft to a restaurant with multiple stars And when we're done we'll stick around for drinks at the bar We'll Uber to my place where we can Netflix and chill But now it's only 2 pm I've got Four hours to Jill I'm jumping in the shower, need to scrub my pits Grab a bottle of cologne, give myself a spritz I'm thinking there's a chance that we might get real close It's just my second second date, so I don't really know Some time I'll have to ask her if she's on the pill But now it's only 4 pm I've got Two hours to Jill What am I gonna do with all this time to Jill? Twiddle my thumbs, hone my sweet talk skills Maybe she'd appreciate a heartfelt note But I asked my big sister, she said no no no Now if I'm being honest I am terrified 'Cause I'm hoping one day Jill will want to be my bride I don't look that good and I don't have much dough Instead of hi Jill might be saying whoa whoa whoa I'm wetting down my razor, gonna shave my 'stache This new look is really gonna make a splash My collar is starched and my pants are pressed Oh my God, Jill's gonna be so damn impressed Can I afford a diamond ring and still pay my bills? Now it's only 5 pm still got One hour to Jill Twenty three minutes to Jill, oh God The problem is when I get excited I get an ocean of notions Emotion explosion And all of this matters And all of this matters And all of this matters And all of this matters to me I see her, she got here first I'm walking her way my heart is gonna burst Now I need to think of something cool to say Hey, Jill. What's up?

A nice party is a nice party Cause everybody there is nice All I want is someone to be nice to me Nice party There will be no bullies there And no one who is rude There will be no politicians And no TV pundits too If someone is insensitive They'll have to say good night They won't try to argue Cause the bouncer's so polite All I want is someone to be nice to me Nice party Compliments are complementary We will hand them out at the door Bring in all your positive energy It's the only weapon in our war Hey, nice jacket, hey, I like your hair I really dig those shoes - where can I find a pair? Nice party All I want is someone to be nice to me Nice party If it seems like all your efforts Get you kicked downstairs Here's a place where if nice were money We'd all be millionaires Hey, come on in, hey, let's feel good There's no rejection, you're understood A nice party is a nice party Cause everybody there is nice